On a night having a drink at his local bar Greg Aubuchon catches a glimpse of gorgeous guy who has had a bit too much to drink and looks like he can use a place to stay for the night. As soon as he chats him up he learns Faron Weaver, is on his way to Chicago after a bad breakup (he only learns later that the girlfriend was actually a boy named Lance).
So, Faron stays on Greg's couch, and the next day, one thing leads to the other and quickly it looks like Faron will be Greg's new roommate. Lenny, his current roommate is moving out soon, Faron needs a place to stay and the whole Chicago thing was just drunken ramblings.
Faron has been trying to reconcile who he is, with his family background and his faith from the time he realized that he was gay...He never tried to fool himself about that or limit himself either. He just took the time of freedom granted to Amish youth as his way of finding what he needed sexually. He wanted sex and he got as much of it as he could. No limitations, he found what he was after, but his inner conflict never really waned, he missed his family, he was riddled with guilt and remorse that his family could never accept who he really was, who would hate him if they ever knoew...He kept himself in limbo...Giving his body to who he was...But not his heart that he kept for his family.
Greg, he went the opposite route, coming from a fundamentalist Catholic family he decided to never to give in to his physical urges he tried to become a monk, and when it was clear to him that he could not do that he came back out into the world to try and live as a gay man. The thing was that he had no clue how to do that.
There they were the promiscous 22 year old boy with too many hard things in his past, and the 25 year old virgin. These two men...They figured out that they could get something really amazing with each other, but it was soooo hard for them to be able to say it. The guilt and the insecurities were too many, so many doubts, so many hang ups...They got it in the end though.
This story to me felt like I was watching from afar like and just getting to look in, like there was a glass between me and Faron and Greg. It's not that I didn't get them or care for them, it's that they were doing all the work and I was just nodding along, if that makes any sense.
This book was full of beautifully worded thoughts on God, Religion, the Bible, men and how they love, accepting yourself and who you are...At times it was a bit preachy yes, but then again certain things can only be said from a soapbox. I totally agreed with most of it, it was bit of a diatribe, to be fair if you are going to give one, doing it this nicely is as fantastic way to go.
So this is a love story sure, but it's also a reflection on what it is like to be a gay man who comes from a world of deep faith an how hard it is to walk that line and come out untarnished or at least whole enough to make a life that's whole.
Very nice read, KZ Snow writes well that we know. This was very understated and simple, but with depth. I would have loved about twice as much, but I did enjoy what I got.
A Hole in God's Pocket is for sale at Dreamspinner Press