Saturday, January 21, 2012

The New Kids On The Prison Block


So, it's post #1, and the two of us have been let loose on the unsuspecting citizens of the blogosphere. We've taken a long look around, and decided that we've got to treat this place like a prison yard. You know, make a statement, so that we don't end up getting shanked with a sharpened toothbrush in the showers. There are a lot of pitfalls when you're the new kids on the prison block.

Paying for protection
There are always the big dogs who run the prison yard; the ones who keep you safe, and give you extra cigarettes in return for whatever they need. In other words, authors who want to give away free books in order to get good reviews. Well, we both kicked our nicotine habits, and stopped giving out blow jobs for favors (figuratively and literally) back in college.

So, that's code for, “We won't be asking for or accepting any free books from authors in exchange for pimpage.” We want to keep things as objective as possible here in our little corner.

What we want is simple, we want to give you our honest opinions, make you laugh, share our thoughts, and have a dialogue with other readers. We want this to be a space where we can talk books, and M/M romance with people who, like us, have had their lives and reading time hijacked by this fantastic genre.

Gang life
It's human nature for people to form packs. It happens in any situation where there are enough persons to share an opinion.

And in our little reading pond it happens too…The Crips like the way Author Man writes rimjobs better than Author Lady…The Bloods think that’s bullshit, because everybody knows a good sucking off is what makes or breaks a book…And WHAM!!! All of a sudden we’ve got gang war on our hands over a bunch of assholes.

That’s when the game gets tricky, because with all these bangers on the lookout a person can loose an eye over Three Little Stars…In this yard, a bad review might get you a fork in the eye, and landed in the infirmary faster than you can say “mate claiming”.

The M/M Romance genre is a young one. Everyone knows or knows of, almost everyone else. That means that people form a lot of great relationships. It also means that sometimes people are afraid to give honest opinions and reviews for fear of hurting feelings or getting attacked. We will try and do the best we can with this, we will be honest and fair, while being respectful to the authors and readers alike.

Pleasing The Wardens
And what about the publishers? What about the people who run things behind the scenes and provide us with that sweet crack we love so well? We probably won't be accepting books from them either for the most part, but if we do we will make sure and let you guys know if a review is for a book we were given by a publisher.

You can count on this though: We will not let crappy editing slide.  
Good publishers, like good wardens should be watching out for the newbies. Slacking off on the job, is unfair to the new authors, who need help from their publishers to get the best possible book out to the readers. Authors deserve better from their publishers than a spellcheck, and an Atta boy!...And so do we.

Conjugal Visits
Now to the Daddies, the authors, just because we won’t be taking freebies from you guys, it doesn’t mean we ain’t got no love for you. If you keep us happy we will always be willing to give up some Sweet Lovin', and having good books to read, always puts us in the mood. We are unrepentant smut sluts after all.

We will ALWAYS be looking for ways to promote good books and good writers.  We will try to invite writers in for a chat, for an interview, or just try to keep up with what the authors we love are working on next.

Putting the Word Out
Everyone (those of us who have watched Prison Break, and other incarceration themed shows) knows that news in a prison yard gets around fast.

This community of readers is not too shabby in spreading the word either, we hope that this blog will be one of the places where M/M Romance readers can find what’s new and what’s good, and share the love…Nothing makes us happier than reading a book, loving it, and telling others about it.

Sooooo…Here we are folks, the new kids, making the rounds in the yard…We’re all stocked up on ciggies and porn, and we’re ready to play.

38 comments:

  1. Can I join the gang? I'm scared I will need protection in this place!

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  2. Nice start, ladies..er LLadies. I enjoyed the snarky feel and look forward to your reviews. I especially would like a heads up on what authors are working on as I'm too lazy to keep up with their blogs and websites.

    Have fun and I'll be back.

    Dee

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  3. You've already made me laugh out loud, guys-- I think this is going to be an awesome spot on the web:-)

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  4. Thank you ladies! We'll be sending out messages on twitter whenever we have new posts! We're glad you liked :O)

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  5. Hi Ladies! Congrats on the blog. Your first post made me LOL and I can't wait for more.

    Sharpen your shivs and don't bend over in the shower.

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  6. So great to see you here --how lovely you both are!!!! Looking forward to reading and reading all about you and your opinions!!! Nest of luck with the launch!

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  7. WOW, this looks great! Mind if we pimp your blog on ours next week?

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  8. Whoot!! Awesomesauce ladies!!!

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  9. Thanks all for coming by! Matt and Brad all pimpage is appreciated :0)

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  10. Sounds great. I like your master plan, and wish you the best with this endeavor.

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  11. LOL, you two cracked me up:)! This should be fun.

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  12. Omg awesomeness you crazy bitches are going to rock this blog stuff!!
    I'll be back to xxx

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  13. Welcome to the block ladies! I'm glad to have found you so we can talk m/m books ;) I'm keeping my eye on you via my blogroll *grin*

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  14. Looks like fun, ladies! Can't wait to hear your assessment of the genre :)

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  16. Great start! I can't wait to see what you ladies do going forward.

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  17. I am a little disappointed there was no header for showering and proper soap dropping etiquette …

    P.S. (If I would have thought of that before you posted I would have told you then)

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  18. Great first post girls! Good luck in the yard :)

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  19. Thanks for all the love guys! Hope you keep dropping in :0)

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  20. This sounds like my kind of blog. I'll be lurking about. :)

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  21. Sweet! Looking forward to your "fresh" voices in the blogosphere. You guys are always entertaining and I look forward to reading it all here!

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  22. Your reviews at GR already give me most of what goes into my TBR, having the blog will make it even better. Count me in, already following by email.

    Um, you should think about getting your soap on a rope, works wonders in making sure you never drop it in the shower... ;0)

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  23. i may not be an author but can i still get conjugal visits with you fine young ladies? ;) Reow

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  24. LOL Fangtasia thanks for the tip! I'm saving the soap metaphor for a special ocassion.

    Bj Baby of course you get special visits dear :O)

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  25. Thanks everyone for the welcomes. You guys are schweet!!

    My soap's not on a rope...it's on a thick gold chain. I'm a gangsta even in prison.

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  26. Great job, ladies!! Looking forward to your blog. =D

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  27. Thanks Jenn thanks for dropping by!

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  28. Great job LLadies! I'm all signed up and following with e-mail to boot!

    Maya (aka Bookbee on GR)

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  29. Welcome to the Underworld of Opinionators! ;-)

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  30. Congrats Ladies....looking forward seeing what's in store for us M/M addicts.

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  31. Thanks to the pimpage from Matt and Brad, I found your blog and can't wait to see what's to come. :O)
    Congrats LLadies on your new blog!

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  32. Great first post LLadies.....looking forward to see whatcha got ;)

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  33. What a wonderful start...looking forward to many many more great posts :)

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  34. I heard about your blog over on Matt and Brad's blog and thought I'd check it out. Looks good, can't wait for more!

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  35. Can't believe I just found out! I love it!

    Shirley Frances

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  36. Please consider introducing Heather’s story, a series of ebooks entitled “Her Letters from Prison”, to your readers.

    Heather Heaton's new ebook series ("Her Letters from Prison") is an inspirational resource for reading pleasure, review, contemplation, and discussion.

    Heather's own testimony: "God changed my life in prison!"

    "Her Letters from Prison" (Parts 1 & 2) will validate your inquisitive thoughts and doubts about what goes on in women’s prisons (It is what it is!); and it can justify the efforts spent toward women’s prison ministries. These two ebooks can be a motivational (tell-it-like-it-is) resource for drug rehab/prevention and reentry programs, especially when combined with "Her Letters from Prison – Part 4: Recycled – Second Time Around".

    "Her Letters from Prison" is a non-fiction, inspirational, romance ebook series; with Heather's original letters (with prison art) included as images for authenticity. Heather's story describes how female offenders are perceived and handled (often abused) in the criminal justice system. The story continues (Part 4) to describe Heather's first two years of re-entry back into the real world and how she ended a destructive narcissistic-codependent relationship.

    "Her Letters from Prison: Women-in-Prison" (Part 3) contains two PowerPoint presentations prepared for the University of Alabama/Women's Studies "Women in Prison" conference. Both presentations are based on Parts 1 & 2 of Heather's story; and they are entitled "Women-in-Prison (Almost Invisible)" and "Women-in-Prison (Facts/Myths)". Also, Heather's personal testimony is included in the Part 3 publication.

    You can go to http://www.heather-heaton.com, and click on a direct link to Heather's Amazon.com and/or Smashwords "book pages" for “Her Letters from Prison”. Alternatively, you can visit Heather’s author pages:
    1. http://www.amazon.com/author/heatherheaton
    2. https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/heatherdh

    Heather’s ebooks are also available in paperback format. The paperback book ("Her Letters from Prison") may be obtained by contacting Heather through her website "contact" form. The paperback book contains Part 1, 2, and 3 ebooks. "Her Letters from Prison - Part 4" will be published as its own paperback book soon.

    Thanks for your time and consideration.

    Heather Heaton

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