The Nothingness of Ben by Brad Boney

Sometimes you have to loose the life you have to gain the one you're meant to live

That is what happened to Ben Walsh when on a winter day walking through the streets of Manhattan a phone call from home changes his life forever. His parents are dead. A car accident. They've left behind his three younger brothers in Austin, Texas where he grew up. Three boys he barely knows really. They are 16, 14 and 12...Ben is 28 and has been making his way in New York City as an up and coming litigator for one of the best firms in the city. But he has an obligation, and he does what has to be done.

Ben goes home and he buries his parents, but HE IS PISSED. What is he supposed to do with his entire fucking life?! His career that he has worked so damn hard for, his friends, his big time NY connections, his boyfriend!!...What will happen to them? Is he supposed to wave them goodbye to play parent to THREE teenagers? He is not prepared for this! He can't do it!

His brothers don't expect much from Ben to be honest, he's always been the distant brother who didn't have much use for family, or their hometown. Quentin the oldest is strong and direct and he tells Ben that he knows he won't do right by them...Jason the quiet one, he just wants to stay together he's going through stuff and he needs his brothers, and Cade the baby...He misses his daddy so badly. He wants to be protected and loved and just hopes that things will be okay. 

Ben has hard choices to makes and he DOES NOT want to give up what he's worked for. Even with the hurt of his parents being gone he still wants the life he had. Because grief is like that, tragedy doesn't change who you are, or what you want magically. Giving up what you've worked for even when you know it's the right thing to do IS HARD. Loss does not make any of that easier, doesn't make you nobler. Growing up DOES, understanding love DOES, seeing what you would be missing by making the selfish choice DOES. Ben STRUGGLED with all this, and even though I wanted to bitch slap him for his utter dumbassness more than once, I sympathized with the guy, because the things he had to do were hard.

Thankfully for Ben in the midst of this terrible time he meets his parents' neighbor, Travis. Travis is close to his brothers (he has taken the role Ben wasn't there to fulfill) and he helps Ben make the right choices. He helps Ben get through those dark weeks of grieveing that him and his brothers do. He helps Ben try and get settled into the life of guardian of his brothers. He and Ben fall in love.

...And they lived happily ever after...NOT SO MUCH Because these were people and people are never that simple. Things were hard, VERY hard. Ben could not give up his hope of returning to NYC, despite knowing what was best he couldn't to give it all up and he tried HAVE IT ALL. The boys, Travis, the NYC career. Only when Ben understood, FINALLY, what really was the most important thing did he open his eyes to the fact that what he was giving up could not hold a candle to what he was getting in return. He earned the love and trust of his brothers, who he loved right back and he got the kind of love from Travis that he was willing to be selfless for. 

I loved this family story. The boys were gorgeous, Ben was a self-centered clueless asshole sometimes, but the guy had integrity and he manned up when it mattered. Travis was wonderful. 

Oh yeah and the sex was smokin!! Seriously this book was awesome. Very glad my friends sent it my way. 

Wonderful debut from Brad Boney, looking forward to more from him.

VERY MUCH RECOMMEND.

The Nothingness of Ben is for sale on Dreamspinner Press

J.C. Lillis and her Boys Have Come to The LL's Word for a Visit...

Last month when I had just gotten back from my yearly week ManLove Worship aka GayRomLit I was looking for something awesome to read and I stumbled upon this self-published book with an adorable cover, a bit of a funny title and a pretty wacky blurb. No one else on Goodreads had read it but I thought "what the hell, I'm an adventurous reader and the self-pubs have done me right this year",  so I started to read and...POW POW POW!!! I was HOOKED. I didn't blink for the next 18 hours, because How To Repair a Mechanical Heart hijacked my brains!! 

Without questions this book has been my finest discovery this year, I pimped the crap out of it as soon as I finished reading it, and I only wish I could have a super power like hypnotism or mind control so I could MAKE everyone read it...So given my *ahem* enthusiasm for this gem of a book the very kind and incredibly talented J.C. Lillis author of HTPaMH has not only agreed to grace us with a visit at the LL's Words, but she's gone on Skype and gotten us some facetiming with the boys...YES!!!! ABANDON IN DA HOUSE BABY!! 

Brandon and Abel my favorite thing next to a nice chilled glass of Sauvignon Blanc (and those who know me personally understand the weight behind that statement) have also spent some time with us and have indulged us answering all our questions. We could not be more excited to share this with you, Those who have read HTRaMH like Laddie and I, and are now desperate fangirls or fanboys of Team ABANDON enjoy!!  Those of you who have not, sit back grab a straw and start chugging on this koolaid baby! You can thank us later.

The Interview:

JC Lillis

LL: So we absolutely loved HTRaMH, Brandon and Abel were so incredibly layered and wonderful. Were you inspired by any particular fandom to write them and if so, which of all the fandom boys inspired Brandon and Abel?

JC: First of all, thank you so much. I’m blown away by the nice comments about the book, and you guys were the first to notice it and get the ball rolling. I’m so grateful! (I’d promise you my firstborn, but she’s five already and highly suspicious of strangers.)

So as far as inspiration: I’m a serial fangirl, so I’ve been following one fandom or another pretty much my whole life. The idea behind HTRaMH came from my general fascination with the drama surrounding real-person fic—not only the controversy it causes within fandoms, but also its potential effect on the people being shipped. I mean, if you’re a seasoned entertainer, you probably expect stuff like that and laugh it off. But how weird would it be to go on a reality show as a sheltered teen, get famous within weeks, and then find out that people are shipping you with another contestant and writing this eerie fic version of you? How would it affect you psychologically—especially if you actually DID have feelings for the other person?  

I didn’t base Brandon and Abel on anyone in particular, but those were the basic questions I started with. Hearing about the slash fandoms for American Idol got me thinking I’d make the characters reality-TV contestants, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to write a whole book set in that universe. I also knew I wanted both characters to be gay and out, because I didn’t want to do a sad unrequited-love thing or a coming-out story. So I cycled through a bunch of options and then hit on this idea that they’d be heavily involved in fandom themselves, as co-runners of a vlog dedicated to their favorite sci-fi show. (I loved creating the show-within-the-book. Castaway Planet is a weird blend of Lost, Star Trek, and vintage B-movies and I wish it were real so I could ship Cadmus and Sim.) I thought it would be funnier if Brandon and Abel were vocally opposed to slashfic about their TV crushes—the idea of anti-slashers finding themselves slashed was irresistible to me.

LL: Brandon's struggle with his faith was an incredibly raw and touching part of the book. Were you afraid that presenting his inner conflict would turn off readers?

JC: I’m glad you liked that piece of it. Yeah, I definitely knew that was a risky move. I didn’t start planning the story with “unresolved Catholic angst” on the drawing board; it’s something that kept insisting itself as I thought about Brandon and his obsession with a TV android who’s not sure if he wants to be human. And it’s also something that’s very, very close to my heart, because I struggled with Catholicism, sexuality, and belief in God since I was a young teen and only recently made peace with who I am and what I believe. I felt like I could write that aspect of his inner life convincingly—though I’m a girl and my specific experiences have obviously been different.

The big challenge was working that aspect into a book that’s basically a romcom for fandom geeks. I was concerned that it would overwhelm the narrative. A lot of Brandon’s inner conflict mirrors my own (the superstitious thoughts, the memories of things he’d heard at church and at home), and in my experience, that can be a pretty consuming thing when you’re 18 and desperately trying to figure yourself out. I kept an eye on it, toned it down a little as I edited, and tried to weave it into the plot in logical places so it didn’t bog the whole story down or overshadow the humor.

I don’t regret addressing Brandon’s difficulties with faith. It’s something that lots of young people struggle with—often in silence, because they’re afraid of upsetting or alienating their families. It took me an embarrassingly long time to get comfortable with the fact that I didn’t believe certain things I was taught in school and church, and I would’ve loved to read a book like HTRaMH as a younger person. I would’ve felt less alone, I think.

LL: ABANDON That word kind of embodies most of the themes of this book. Brandon's summer to get away from all the guilt in his home life, for Abel to finally to try and catch Brandon, of the freedom that an internet identity gives people, how the anonymity allows for so much to the point of recklessness and cruelty, of letting go of ideals and paradigms that we build from characters/actors we fall in love with. This story holds so much, so many layers. Can you tell us a bit about how you weaved it together?

JC: Wow, thanks—that’s like a huge compliment in question form! Well, I try not to be too conscious of theme the whole time I’m writing, because I don’t want to wallop readers too hard with it. I came up with the ABANDON portmanteau pretty early in the process as I was thinking up good names for my characters, and it did seem like a word that hummed with all kinds of possibilities. I liked that “abandon” can mean embracing freedom or leaving something behind, because Brandon has to do both before he can make a go of it with Abel. But I didn’t think too hard about making all the other elements align with the theme. I just developed the characters, nailed down the basic story arc, and hitched a ride on the RV to see where we were going.

It was really tough sometimes. When I came up with the structure—six sci-fi conventions over six weeks—I thought “oh, I have a roadmap to follow; maybe this’ll be easy to write.” But SO MUCH happens on a six-week road trip, and I agonized over what to show and not show. I ended up with reams of deleted scenes. My number-one priority was to keep the book as fast-paced and funny as possible, while still developing Brandon’s inner conflict in a way that didn’t feel cartoonish or over-the-top. Plus I had to figure out which cast member they’d meet at which tour stop, when to start dropping hints about the secret Abandon fan community, how fast things should evolve between Brandon and Abel, what Bec’s involvement would be, etc. It got so tricky that I actually had to walk away a few times, not sure if I’d ever finish. I’m glad I did, and I’m REALLY glad fellow fandom geeks have been slowly discovering and enjoying it. That makes it all worth it. My laptop’s even forgiven me for all the times I cursed it out at one a.m.

LL: After that WHOPPER of a question we just want to know, who is your fave fanfic writer? Or at least the fandom.

JC: Oh, wow. . .I’m probably going to date myself with this answer, because I don’t read as much fic as I used to. I used to read tons of X-Files fic, some Star Trek (TNG and Voyager; I wasn’t really an original-series fan). The only fandom I ever wrote for was Carnivale, that HBO show that lasted for a couple weird seasons in 2003-2005. My good friend and I wrote like 10 or 11 songs for Carnivale: The Musical!, which was incredibly fun. I was also involved in a small Yahoo community of fic writers/artists at the time, and this girl who went by Vorona wrote great fanfic. I was shy about fandom back then and went by a pseudonym, so I never got to know her personally, but I still think about her sometimes.

I’ve also read some fics in the Game of Thrones fandom that I’ve enjoyed as much as the actual books. I probably shouldn’t say that, right? I hear George R.R. Martin hates fanfic. I guess I understand the impulse to “protect” your characters on some level, but in my gut I just find it so weird when authors lay the smackdown on fic writers. I actually wrote the showrunner’s rant in HTRAMH as a response to writers who don’t want anyone else playing with their creations. I really do believe that when you put characters out into the world, you give joint custody to your readers. If they want to take them out for a wild weekend, that’s their right, and also THE BEST POSSIBLE compliment to you as a writer. Seriously, if real Brandon/Abel fic ever popped up somewhere, it would make my life. Celebratory snickerdoodles would definitely be baked.  

 Brandon and Abel

[The boys videoconferenced in from their college dorm rooms—Brandon from Loyola Maryland, Abel from Temple. Abel’s wearing his puffy red vest; Brandon’s got on a new Castaway Planet t-shirt.]

ABEL: Bran? You there?

BRANDON: Yep. Hiya.

ABEL: Aww, look at your desk! You’ve got like eighteen books with a thousand Post-Its. You’re such a nerdling.

BRANDON: It’s a ruse. I’m at Swallow at the Hollow every night. Are those cinnamon jelly beans?

ABEL: Drive up here and you can have some. [Grins, chomps a handful.] ‘Kay, so before we start, I would just like to point out that Bran has finally FINALLY pitched that baggy-ass Castaway Planet shirt and replaced it with an elegant slim-fit version courtesy of his sweet and thoughtful boyfriend.

BRANDON: My biceps look glorious. I’m told.

ABEL: AMEN.

BRANDON: You have our friends?

ABEL: I do indeed. [Fishes Plastic Sim and Plastic Cadmus out of his vest pocket, where they’d been spooning. Stands the action figures on his freshman Media & Cultural Studies textbook.]  Okay, ladies: we’re ready. Whatcha got for us?

[After some serious crooning and possibly a bit of baby talk to express our delight to see our most favest boys and we are ready for our questions]

 LL: So, we know that Brandon had a favorite Abandon fic but, Abel, what was your favorite Abandon story and why?

BRANDON: Oh God.

ABEL: What?

BRANDON: Don’t even say what I think you’re going to say.

ABEL: I don’t—

BRANDON: [whispering] The steampunk AU?

ABEL: Wha—no! That one’s just ours. Guys, he’s a tiny bit shy because we read this amazing steampunk fic right before we—

BRANDON: PLEASE STOP TALKING.

ABEL: Sorry! Sorry, sorry. Okay, so all joking aside, I think I’ll have to go wiiiiiiiiith. . .a retro robot fic.

BRANDON: Really?

ABEL: That’s good stuff, Bran.

BRANDON: Not the one where we’re nineteenth-century vampire hunters.

ABEL: Nope. The one where we’re cowboy vampire hunters.

BRANDON: I’m incredibly glad I missed that.

ABEL: Shush. It is stunning.

BRANDON: So are we hunting cowboy vampires, or cowboys who also happen to hunt vampires?

ABEL: The latter. We’re herding sheep in Wyoming, see, and one bright summer morning we wake up in each other’s arms and all the livestock’s been exsanguinated.  So we arm ourselves with silver stakes and tromp off into the woods that night—

BRANDON: Does this end with us getting stuck in an elevator?

ABEL: No, but you kick some vampire ass and it’s SUPER dreamy.

[We struggle to regain control after this display of adorableness and move on to Q #2]

LL: Now that you two are together and Abandon had a bit of a hand in it do you think you'll ever find a way to get along with those crazy Cadsim shippers? Not their leader but some of those girls have to be okay, huh?

ABEL: Well, ACTUALLY. . .should we spill about the drama in the Cadsim comm?

BRANDON: If I say no, will you do it anyway?

ABEL: Of course. Miss Maxima’s out. Dethroned. willabelle’s the mod now.

BRANDON: No one cares.

ABEL: Well they should, because it was the most FLAWLESSLY entertaining piece of Internet theatre I’ve witnessed since the Abandon community melted down. Apparently Miss Max banned cavegrrl94 from the comm and then got in this epic dustup with mrs.j.cadmus about it, so mrs.j.cadmus got all her friends to post SCATHING reviews of Maxie’s new “Android Immortal” trilogy, and then when Miss Max found out—you know that scene in Ghost Rider where Nicolas Cage’s entire face bursts into flames? Like that.

BRANDON: And then. . .mistakes were made.

ABEL: Meaning Miss Maxima posted five grody photos of mrs.j.cadmus at CastieCon, getting it on with some old dude in assless chaps and a tinfoil Xaarg hat.

BRANDON: Long story short. . .

ABEL: Miss Max’s reign of terror hath endeth. Willabelle’s cool. We’re five episodes into the new Castaway Planet season and things’ve stayed pretty chill. We visit their fanjournal a couple times a week. They’ve got a handful of new fic writers who are definitely a cut above.

BRANDON: “Replacement Parts”?

ABEL: LOVE that fic. It’s hurt/comfort but you don’t feel grimy reading it. Seriously, when Sim told Cadmus “Perhaps you should stop treating love as I treat a malfunction, Captain”? I teared up.

BRANDON: You’re so easy.

LL: There's something wonderfully fantastic about being a geek among geeks. Are there any more Castie-Cons in your future?

ABEL: YES. Definitely!

BRANDON: If.

ABEL: No ifs. CastieCon 1 is in Atlanta next summer; we’re totally taking the RV.

BRANDON: Dad’s selling it.

ABEL: He’s been saying that for six months. If he sells it, I WILL BUY IT.

BRANDON: Aww. You’re cute when you’re impractical.

ABEL: We’ve even got a place to stay. Dave lives 20 miles outside the city. I mean, he and Bec broke up like two months ago but they’re staying friends.

BRANDON: She’s mad at him now.

ABEL: No! Why?

BRANDON: She said purity balls were creepy and he called her narrow-minded.

ABEL: I will call that boy later.

LL: Abel, we know you got some kick-ass snakeskin boots and a jacket on your roadtrip as well as some other awesome knick knacks. What is your favorite thing of all the stuff you picked up on the trip?

ABEL: Can I tell them about the bracelet?

BRANDON: Aw, crap.

ABEL: Pleeeeaaaase?

BRANDON: Let me tell it, because you’ll get all melty. We were in this thrift store in Phoenix and I saw this ID bracelet, like the kind he gave that guy Jonathan—

ABEL: Who completely smashed my heart.

BRANDON: —and so I bought it while he wasn’t looking and held onto it, and then after all the drama died down later on, I. . . [Blushes, mumbles into hand] . . .got it engraved.

ABEL: “TEAM ABANDON.” [Flicks Plastic Sim and Plastic Cadmus; they topple over and clatter to the floor.] That was supposed to be a dual swoon, sorry.

LL: You've met all of the major players on Castaway Planet and some of them weren't what you were expecting. Now that you've gotten a glimpse of who they are in their everyday lives do you have new favorite characters or are you sticking with Cadmus and Sim?

 ABEL: Well, I have to say that Bree LaRue is like 41% more interesting since she chopped all her hair off and went batshit. They wrote it into the show this season, have you seen it? Her character gets possessed by one of Xaarg’s demons and she’s off in the forest hunting giant alien pig creatures with a nail file.

BRANDON: Whatever. Still Sim and Cadmus for me, all the way.

ABEL: Don’t you hate the whiny streak Cadmus is on this season, though? [holds up Plastic Cadmus] Oh, I’m so emo! No one’s as tormented as I am!

BRANDON: You should totally write some fic about it.

LL: So Brandon have you attempted to write more of your own fanfic or have you left that to the shippers?

ABEL: Oh, we write our own fanfic every day. . .

BRANDON: Will you quit it? Nah, I can’t really bring myself to do it. Once the new season started I actually tried to write a Cadsim fic but I’d get three sentences in and then just pound the delete button. I’ll leave the fic to the experts.

LL: And FINALLY...you know we HAD to ask this! Are you guys going to keep dating now that you are in different colleges?

ABEL: Oh, we tried, but then Brandon had this torrid fling with his Shakespeare professor, and we broke it off.

BRANDON: I really just wanted someone to read me sonnets.

ABEL: We’re kidding. He’s my boy.

BRANDON: It’s been good.

ABEL: I mean, we’ve had issues—

BRANDON:  Everything’s fine.

ABEL: Except his dad won’t have me over for Thanksgiving.

BRANDON: Mom’s working on him.

ABEL: Whatever. You’ll come to my house for pie, right?

BRANDON: Is “pie” code for something else?

ABEL: Yes, but there will also be actual pie involved.

BRANDON: Cool. Don’t forget those two.

ABEL: These guys? [Holds up Plastic Sim and Plastic Cadmus] They packed their bags yesterday. They can’t wait to see you, Tin Man.

BRANDON: The sentiment is mutual, Captain.

ANNNNDDD that is all from our peeps from How To Repair a Mechanical Heart we hope you loved this visit as much as we did! Our thanks to JC Lillis author extraordinaire and one of our favorite internet ladies. Make sure you stop by her blog to hear about her new projects and news from Brandon and Abel.

Thanks for stopping by!

-LA

How To Repair A Mechanical Heart by J.C. Lillis

From the first word I fell in love with this book...to the last word I loved this book.

When you read the volumes of books that fans of this genre read in a year, things start muddling together, there are books that you love, and there are books you REALLY love...BLOWN AWAY though that's hard to come by. Happens very rarely...But then there are stories that come out of left field and bitch slap you in the nose and go Hey come here and get to know a little thing called PRIME QUALITY WRITING!!! This was no amateur hour folks, this was serious fucking writing. Like for reals. Best LGBT Young Adult book I've read this year, and in my all time top five. No fooling.

So Brandon is a high school graduate and in the summer off before college, he is setting off on a trip to hit up all the conventions for his favorite show "Starsetter" with his best friend Bec and with his co-vlogger (and the boy he is desperately in love with) Abel. They are GEEKS ,I mean they LIVE for this stuff. The show's main characters the Starsetter's Captain Cadmus, and his android sidekick Sim are like Brandon and Abel's fantasy men, perfect in every way. They know EVERTHING about this show, deconstructing everything that happens is like an obsession, but you know that they hate? They fucking hate that all the slashers have shipped them into some romance...I mean it's RIDICULOUS! The might be gay boys, but they are not about to turn the awesomest duo in television history into a cutesy couple just 'cause! They are awesome supeheroes that are to be worshipped for their awesomeness and not because they might be DOING IT!

So they set off on the tour of conventions to dispel the myth that in the last scene of the last episode of the latest season Cadmus and Sim get together...They challenge the Cadsim slashers that they will put all that shit to rest over the summer. They know they are GEEKY and in Abel's words STONE COLD CRACKERS WITH A SIDE OF CRAZY FRIES...But not EVERYONE is gay. So they must do away with all this Cadsim shippers insanity. 

This feud between Brandon, Abel and the fandom ensues some of the most deliciously AMAZING humor I have read. OMG it was BRILLIANT!!!

There is also the fact that Brandon really is truly in love with Abel (even if Abel has a "boyfriend"), but how he feels is all muddled up with the guilt he carries for being gay. He is out to his family, but they are devout Catholics and even though they want to support him, things are different. They don't want this for him. In their hearts they believe that Brandon is making bad choices, damming choices. He loves his family, and even his family priest who is trying to help him "rectify" his feelings...He is wrecked. Just wrecked and it is messing with his head and his heart...But he wants Abel. He loves him. Abel is like the sun, bright and makes him smile. He's funny and passionate and throws himslef in to everything. Brandon is trying to reconcile the way he is, with what he has been taught about right and wrong...It's hard. It makes him shifty, makes him hurt Abel with his indecision. But he tries to be braver, to move past his guilt, because in his heart and in his brain, he KNOWS that he deserves to be happy...To be happy with a boy. To let himself love a boy that loves him back.

This part the part of Brandon struggling with his faith and what he knows is right for him...it gutwrenching, but DAMN so well done. The author cuts us no slack here and it's FANTASTIC. No 18 year old boy can dismiss years of faith, community, the love of his parents, no matter how much he's into his boyfriend...But Brandon fights it hard, because he knows he deserves happiness.

So in that summer of utter unrepentant geekdom, Brandon and Abel challenge each other, the fandom, see the differnces between the characters they idolize and the actual real and flawed humans who bring them to life, learn about friendship, love, acceptance, patience...FREEDOM...ACCEPTANCE.


This book was such an amazing little thing, it just steamrolled me. First of all the premise of these boys being extreme fans, so devoted. But also having the sense of humor to laugh at themselves for their geekyness was truly delightful, as someone who just got home from a weekend in New Mexico of hanging out with 400 other M/M romance devotees, this book resonated with me COMPLETELY and honestly made me laugh my ass off, because I saw myself and so many of my online friends in this book so many times. It was a fucking DELIGHT. So wonderfully witty. But also with such sobering moments...Brandon and Abel learn about consequences, even by what they say and do online...Are personally affected by the recklessness of what people can carelessly do and say from behing a keyboard...People can act like there is no accountability on the net, like what we say or do is not REAL...It is, it can be. 

The secondary characters in this book were amazing, the online ones, Bec the best friend, the "REAL" people behind the show, even the parents, they were all layered and wonderful

Mostly Brandon and Abel have a wonderful summer...Of love, and friendship, moments of geekful perfection. They grow up a little, a lot actually, they have hard moments, they hurt each other, and they fall in love...And we get to have that summer with them. 

It really is an amazing summer these boys have. I am so FUCKING HAPPY to have found them in the net somewhere, and to have gone on this adventure with them.

I laughed my ass off, cried until I heaved, cringed, nodded along, smiled like a loon, LOVED EVERY SINGLE WORD. PERFECT. 

This book was perfect for me.

JC Lillis wherever you are you just made a COLD STONE CRACKHEAD of a fan out of me. I do hope there is more from you soon.

TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK! GO READ IT!

How To Repair a Mechanical Heart is for Sale (for $3.99 which is CRAZY!!!) on Amazon.com

Two Reviews: Second Time Lucky by Ethan Day and Finding Zach by Rowan Speedwell

Top three reasons why Ethan Day's Characters should rule the world:

1. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE can make me laugh so hard that I fear for my life.

2. He makes it so I want to read AN ENTIRE BOOK about an airport security guard named Dana that was in the book maybe for a page and half, yet has been making me laugh for three days.

3. Who better to rule this planet than Peter Panish, highly slutty, deliciously snarky gay men who love their drink, and have SERIOUSLY bad cases of Road Rage? Ahhhh the answer is simple my friends, NO ONE!


So this is Luke's and Owen's story. Their second one actually. They first were together in college. They were in love. HARD. Like forever in love. But they drifted apart and they broke up. Fifteen years later Luke is sitting in a bar, having yet another epically horrendous birthday when Owen (still hotness personified) walks into the bar and all of a sudden Luke's luck ain't so bad anymore. They have a GREAT night together and from then on they begin to work at getting back together. 

They're it for each other they KNOW THAT, but Owen is just getting out of a bad relationship and Luke's pretty to his Peter Pan, won't grow up routine (he's also the poster boy for Daddy Issues). So, it's a slow going with these two. They figure it out though...

This story is a pretty straightforward "reunion after all these years" type of story, but it was written by Ethan Day, which means it was all kinds of awesome. First of all you will almost die laughing, this is not especulation, but a fact. The sex is BEYOND hot, seriously like keep some ice handy. Owen and Luke are LOVELY and Luke's smart mouth is a thing of beauty. The secondary characters are FABULOUS...Look it's worth reading if only for Dana the airport lady and she says maybe a total of 50 words. 

Ethan Day was in his sweet spot for this one, and that means whatever you think you're doing today, obviously taking the day off work to read this book is more important. 


Second Time Lucky is available for purchase at the MLR Press website

Rowan Speedwell writes BEAUTIFULLY. Every book I've read of hers, I've said it.

I don't know what kept me from reading this book for so long, but I'm so glad I finally read it. I LOVED IT.

There are three things that are a for sure thing for me with a book, second chances, damaged but engaging characters and resilience...This book had those three things in spades.

At 15 years old Zach Tyler was kidnapped in Costa Rica by a paramilitary group and kept for five years as a prisoner...Worse than a prisoner when he is found he is barely alive, barely human. The story starts for us when Zach is found, and quickly we get to a couple of years later after he has "recovered" more physically than emotionally from his captivity.

That is when David comes back into the picture, a childhood friend, his best friend, also the person Zach loved more than anyone else. He comes back reluctantly since Zach refused to see him when he first came back. But once David is back they can't stay away from each other. Despite how messed up Zach still is. The sweet polite boy that Zach was is now a hardened man, with too many rough edges, but if anyone can find the loving boy inside it's David.

Things are not easy, but they are in love and they work hard at getting to a place where that love can survive through all the setbacks Zach's traumas cause.

David was so patient and SO IN LOVE with Zach, so sure that they were meant to be "forever and always". Zach was so strong, and so stubborn to not let those five years take his whole life. His parents were wonderdful and so were the friends, but my delight in this book was reading about Zach and David. What love. 

The ending was sweet and comforting, it felt victorious. I wish I could read another 1000 pages of these two men, and their happily ever after.

Gorgeous writing as always, beautiful story. LOVED!


Finding Zach can be purchased at Amazon.com

The BIG MID-YEAR REVIEW...Our favorite reads for the first half of 2012!

Well it's almost June...Half of the year is almost gone, and we thought it was good time to look at what we've read this year and make a list of our favorites so far.

The LL's Word BIG MID-YEAR REVIEW

LA's Favorite books so far this year...

This is my Top 15 Books that were released this year...In order of when they were read/released:

The Island by Lisa Henry
This book was a hard read, and it had some really crazy twists and turns, and I absolutely loved it.

The Decisions we Make by RJ Scott
This is a lovelyYA story about two boys who grow up as brothers, but still fall in love. Very very sweet. One of my all time favorite YA stories.

Marlowe's Ghost by Sarah Black
Sarah Black is a word magician, her stories are powerful because she writes them so simply and beautifully. This might be her best one yet. Loved it completely.

Fall Into The Sun by Val Kovalin
This book was GREAT. It was on point with the Latino culture and how family and church can have such a deep effect on our lives. This story felt epic and it was beautifully written.


Dark Soul Series by Aleksandr Voinov
I read all five this year so will count them all as a read for this year, even though the first three were released last year. This was an exquisite read. Loved every single story.

Zero to Hero Shorts by Kyle Adams
There are two stories so far in this series of shorts with Wyatt and Brian Dirty Zero and Dirty Hero. I LOVE the Superhero stuff in these stories, and all of their antics. Funny, sweet, hot and AWESOME. They're like great little bites of deliciousness and they're free!

Shattered Glass by Dani Alexander
One of the best books I've read EVER in this genre. Dani Alexander has a gift for timing and writes First Person POV like it's meant to be written. Loved it.

Chase in Shadow by Amy Lane
Amy Lane is a FOR SURE read for me, so like all her other books I loved this one. It was heartbreaking and it was powerful. Mighty love these boys had.

The Starving Years by Jordan Castillo Price
Absolutely FAB speculative fiction, JCP at her best making this world a little more twisted and a little more interesting while providing us with fantastically layered characters. GREAT read.

Stroke! by MJ O'Shea
Sweet little short YA that I LOVED LOVED LOVED!!! A perfect little read.

A Hole In God's Pocket by KZ Snow
A fallen Amish boy and an ex Catholic Monk, in the words of KZ Snow. Need I say more?

Scrap Metal by Harper Fox
BEAUTIFUL, proabably one of the finest set stories I've read. Scotland was just as much a character as the men in this book, and they were quite something. Angsty and poetic. In my Top Five this year.

Out in the Field by Kate McMurray
Baseball players, one Dominican, in NYC. It's like Kate wrote this for me. *whispers* This might be the top fave for this year....Shhhhh...

Frog by Mary Calmes
Web and Cy were like a fairy tale romance. Sooooo lovely.

Acrobat by Mary Calmes
OMG Drrrrrreeeeoooo...I love thee. This book made me a Mary Calmes fan FOR LIFE!

Gambling Men by Amy Lane
High Quality Erotica people. Amy Lane upped the game in this one and DAMN. Have a cold drink handy!

Top Five "Older" Books Read this Year

Chulito by Charles Rice Gonzalez
I  don't think I've read a better look at the Neuyorrican/Dominican York subculture. Gorgeous story.

Sins of the Father by DW Marchwell
There are a couple of niggles in this one, but if you can roll with it, it's one of the best second chances books I've read this year.

Cop Out by KC Burn
Great book! Just awesome second chances/coming out story. LOVED it.

Heart in Hand by salifiable 
One of my fave sports books and for sure one of the best slash stories I've read.

Split by Mel Bossa
Friends to lovers, soulmate story with a twist. LOVED.

Here is Laddie's Favorites list...There are a few we have in common!

Shattered Glass by Dani Alexander
So far, this has been the best book I've read this year and it's made
even more impressive because it's a self-published offering. Awesome,
awesome book.


Gambling Men by Amy Lane
When it comes to Amy Lane's low angst stories her work hits all of the
right notes with me. I fell in love with these guys and they're also
on my Super Reread list.

Frog by Mary Calmes
Mary Calmes stepped up her game in the month of April and this was the
first book she released. I adored Weber Yates and want a Weber of my
own.

Acrobat by Mary Calmes
Mary Calmes' second book released in April and just as good as Frog.
Dreo is one sexy beast and just look at that gorgeous cover.

The Hanged Man's Ghost by Missouri Dalton:
I stumble upon Missouri's Dalton's work and immediately fell in love
with her imagination. She's not imsanely well known but she should be
because her stuff rocks.

Written In The Stars by Alix Bekins:
I was told that I would love this book and I absolutely did. Snarky,
cantankerous geniuses have never been so funny and adorable.
Cinder by Marie Sexton
A gay fairytale for the ages. I loved this reworking of a classic.
I've never read any Marie Sexton beofre but I'm glad I picked this one
up.

Stroke! by M.J. O'Shea
There's no other word for this story but CUTE. Was it predictable?
Yeah a bit but it was just so charming that I didn't care.

Bartender, PI by Ethan Stone
This story had me giggling like a fiend. The bumbling narrator was a
hoot to read about and this story was an entertaining way to spend a
few hours.


So that's all for our BIG LIST. We hope that you've had a chance to read some of these, and those that you haven't seem interesting enough to try out. We loved every single one of these stories and hope you find some that you love as well!

Hurrah for Summer!